Typically the morning after Raw I post a column with five takeaways from the night before.   Of course, last night wasn’t a typical Raw and I’m not one to sell my legions of fans short.   Many of the legends that have made Raw the longest-running episodic television show in history were on hand last night as WWE was in action both from the Barclay’s Center in Brooklyn and the place where it all started, the Manhattan Center.

By many legends, I don’t mean all of them.  For a variety of reasons ranging from scheduling conflicts to the company flat-out not wanting them around there were several superstars absent that helped shape Raw as a dynamo through the years. Off the top of my head that list includes Mick Foley, CM Punk, Edge, Goldberg, Alundra Blaze, Vicki Guerrero, Lita and arguably the biggest two names in the history of the WWE Raw era, Hulk Hogan and the Rock.

Still, mainly because of all the legends that were advertised to be on the show I was completely prepared to mark out all night and be completely unapologetic over it.  I’m too old to say the origins of Monday Night Raw bring me back to  being a kid as I was already legally drinking when the show’s run commenced, but it definitely made feel a lot younger.

Perhaps mainly because of those insanely lofty expectations when the clock struck around 11:15pm I was left feeling underwhelmed.

FIVE (OF THE) REASONS WHY RAW WAS BAD

1. Peaked Too Early:  The show started completely on fire from Brooklyn with both Stephanie and Shane McMahon in the ring, patronizing the crowd and introducing Vince, who came out and momentarily soaked in the cheers and appreciation before turning on the crowd and claiming he built Raw himself, which of course brought out Stone Cold Steve Austin.  The Texas rattlesnake stunned Shane (twice) and Vince to a roaring reaction from the crowd.  The problem is that the show started on such a high it could only go down from there. This should’ve been the final go-home segment, as no matter what happened over the first three hours, this is what would’ve sent the crowd home happy.

2. Rushed Last Segment:  For three hours of hype on Kane, Braun Strowman and Brock Lesnar being in the same ring this felt far too rushed.  Brock came out and within maybe 120 seconds he’s powerslammed through the table and the show goes off the air.  This was too rushed.  Maybe next time booking shouldn’t have a two segment 8-woman tag match in the first hour or the DX Reunion (see below) that seemed to last an eternity.  That would give you more time to let fans digest the players set to be your PPV main event in six days.

3. Degeneration….. Dragggggggg: DX reunited in the last hour and introduced Scott Hall, who came out to his Razor Ramon music and then… commercial? Are you fucking kidding with that timing? Jesus that was awful—I thought it was a production mistake but apparently it wasn’t.  The Balor Club comes out to show respect, the Revival comes out and there’s a tag team match and then everyone from DX hits their finishers on Wilder and Dawson. In a way I suppose it was cool but sorry, it felt like all of eternity passed by to get there.  Also, is it me or does Scott Hall look like he belongs in the Hollywood Wax Museum? 

4. Undertaker Promo meant?  Taker came out to the Manhattan Center to start the 9:00pm hour and cut a promo, which brought out—nobody. I’m also not even sure what the hell he was trying to say.  Was he confirming his retirement? Was this the last time we’ll see him in the middle of a WWE ring? Was he saying that he’s got more souls to bury? I’m so confused. This was stupid.

5. Manhattan Center Wasted: Nostalgic factor aside having portions of the show emulate from the Manhattan Center was a waste of time and according to several videos of the crowd chanting “we want refunds” and “bullshit” via Twitter, didn’t go over very well. It was a waste of the legendary Jim Ross/Jerry Lawler announce team.  I know there were a few off-camera things to take place there but in total there were just three segments over three hours that were carried on TV live. If I bought a ticket I’d be furious.

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IT WASN’T ALL BAD.  HERE’S FIVE THINGS I LIKED

♦ Loved John Cena returning.  Interestingly enough despite rampant blogger speculation it wasn’t to start a program with the Undertaker. Instead he returned to essentially put over Elias, who’s becoming a big star.  You have to hand it to Cena, as he’s accepted that as his career winds down his primarily role is to put over guys from the current era.

♦ Jason Jordan’s drawing nuclear heat with the crowd.  He could barely speak over a crowd that booed him with no mercy every time he put his mouth near the mic.  It reminded me of the Vicki Guerrero days. I’ve said it on this blog before—Jordan’s going to become one of the company’s biggest stars as a heel, you watch.

♦ After Austin and Daniel Bryan, the pop for Chris Jericho was probably the best of the night.  Jericho was the lone lone legend to appear that wasn’t previously advertised, which knowing Jericho is hardly surprising.  He’s a made man for life among the WWE universe.

♦ I can look at Torrie Wilson and Kelly Kelly forever.  ♥FOREVER♥.  I’m hoping to see one or both again at the Rumble on Sunday.

♦ The Miz’s victory and eighth Intercontinental title win, while expected was still awesome. Obviously it  launches Roman Reigns build towards yet another Wrestlemania main event., which I pray to God for his and the Philadelphia crowd doesn’t start with him wining the Rumble on Sunday.

For no particular rhyme or reason other than being fun for me to do and hopefully you to read, I’ve decided to occasionally recap old WWE Monday Night Raw shows (Smackdown will be a future project). At least for me, it’s cool to recreate many Monday nights I evidently didn’t recall as easily as I should after re-watching a lot of these.

But hey — I’m finally getting good use of my WWE Network.

My blueprint is to fast forward 25 episodes per recap.  That should progress events along enough so I’m not blogging about the same shit each time out.

I started with episode 100 in my first recap, so this is the second time around with this—where we arrive in late Summerlike a good place to start, so without further ado…

Date: February 27, 1995.

Raw Episode Number: 100.

TV Commentary: Vince McMahon and James Cornette

The Cliff Notes Version

Promos for Lex Luger in advance of his match with Tatanka.

Luger (with Chief Jay Strongbow) defeated Tanaka (with Ted Dibase) via count out.

Owen Hart defeated a jobber named Larry Santos with a sharpshooter.

NFL (future) Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor joins Raw via satellite.  Footage is shown of Taylor at ringside (as a guest of his “friend” Diesel) and shoved by Bam Bam Bigelow at the Royal Rumble last month.  Taylor says he’s weighing his options on what to do about it, and ultimately Bigelow joins in on a split screen and talks trash.  They agree to meet each other at a press conference in New York City promoting Wrestlemania XI the following day.

Doink the Clown (with Dink) beat Bob Cook after his “whoopee cushion” finisher.

Highlights are shown of last month’s Royal Rumble— one Shawn Michaels won (as the first entrant) by defeating the British Bulldog.  The two are slated to have a match on Raw next week.

Kama dominated a jobber named Ken Raper (who looked a lot like Barry Horowitz but wasn’t) before winning by submission.

British Bulldog interview/promo in advance of his match with Michaels on Raw next week.

Discussion of the following morning’s Wrestlemania XI press conference in New York. Todd Pettengill breaks things down as Raw goes off the air.

A few thoughts….

♦ At one point Tatanka slapped the feathers off Strongbow’s head on the outside—prompting a very old Strongbow (67-years old at the time) to chop Tatanka several times in plain view of referee Earl Hebner.  However, Hebner didn’t disqualify Luger.  Boo!

(Editor’s Note: R.I.P. to the Chief, who passed away in 2012 at the age of 83)

♦ Jokes aside, this hardly surprises many who remember WWE WWF Luger matches but everything about this was atrocious, ranging from overall execution to the match lasting three segments only for Tanaka to then decide to leave intentionally get counted out. Seriously, people sat at home and watched two sets of commercial breaks for a match to conclude with a count out.

♦  I may not be the ultimate connoisseur of all-things WWE, but I’m a bigger fan than most.  I simply don’t remember Ted Dibase ever being aligned with Tatanka. I imagine this didn’t last long and eventually turned on him.

♦  Can’t understate what a huge star and big deal it was having Lawrence Taylor appear on Raw (albeit satellite) and build towards a Wrestlemania match.  At the time Taylor was only roughly a year removed from retiring as arguably the greatest NFL defensive player that ever lived, and his popularity level is comparable to a guy like J.J. Watt or Gronk now.  His ultimate involvement at Wrestlemania XI in a match (along with football buddies) against Bigelow (and his buddies) was a massive coup for WWE at the time.

♦  People think of Shawn Michaels winning the Royal Rumble in 1995 despite being the first entrant as the face-hero, but in reality HBK was very much a heel at the time. He won because the British Bulldog made the mistake of thinking both of  Michaels’ feet had hit the ground and then let his guard down to celebrate.  Michaels eliminating the Bulldog was actually a heel move.

♦  Kama (the future Godfather and conductor of Ho Trains all over) was known then as the “supreme fighting machine”.  His attire consisted of an ugly red amateur wrestling outfit with white t-shirt underneath and a big black belt labeled “Kama”

♦  This was still, at the time a continuation of the long-standing wrestling tradition of hardly matches involving big names facing each other. That must be hard to believe for young WWE used to seeing title matches and marquee main events nearly every week on Raw and Smackdown. This episode (actually recorded the week before) aired four matches, with Luger vs Tatanka the only one involving guys both established to any degree. Again this was common—most TV matches were squashes back then and many years before.

♦  This was also the era of 900-numbers to get “inside” wrestling info.  Several times throughout the show Jim Ross’ hotline was plugged for his hourly updates from the press conference coming the next day.  Just $1.49 per minute!

♦  That’s literally how the show went off in the air.  Back in 1995 a Monday Night Raw ended with Todd Pettengill plugging a 900-number for fans to call.

For no particular rhyme or reason other than being fun for me to do and hopefully you to read, I’ve decided to occasionally recap old WWE Monday Night Raw shows (Smackdown will be a future project). At least for me, it’s cool to recreate many Monday nights I evidently didn’t recall as easily as I should after re-watching a lot of these.

But hey — I’m finally getting good use of my WWE Network.

I started with episode 100 in my first recap and this is the fourth time around with this—as we arrive to September, 1996—building towards the In Your House-Mind Games pay-per-view.

Date: September 9, 1996

Raw Episode Number: 175

Location: Wheeling, West Virginia

TV Commentary: Jim Ross, Kevin Kelly, Jerry Lawler

The Cliff Notes Version:

−Farooq (with Sunny) defeated Savio Vega in the final first round match of the Intercontinental championship tournament.  Psycho Sid (his next opponent) came down and immediately four referees came between them.

−Get well messages to Johnson taped from Savio Vega, Pyscho Sid, Steve Austin, Goldust, Jerry Lawler, Owen Hart and the Godwinns (I may have missed one or two). Time-fillers not 30 minutes into the show?

−A promo for Mankind vs. WWF champion Shawn Michaels main event at “Mind Games (In Your House)” pay-per-view, followed by an In-ring interview (Carlos Cabrera) with Michaels and his manager, Jose Lothario.  HBK warns Mankind “do not hunt what you can’t kill”.

−A debuting “The Stalker” defeated (jobber) TL Hopper. While this match was going on, the camera cuts to Brian Pillman and Owen Hart backstage as Owens announces he and his brother Bret are back together again (they had been feuding) and that Bret had a major announcement he’d make at the PPV.

−Video footage shown of Mr. Perfect Curt Henning consistently stealing Hunter Heart Helmsley’s valets while the future cerebral assassin is wrestling.

−Footage from last week’s WWF “Championship Friday” show with Jerry Lawler interviewing Mark Henry, who hadn’t yet debuted.  Lawler challenged him to a wrestling match but Henry says he’s not ready yet.  Lawler calls him a coward, which makes Henry accepts. The match is set for the PPV later in the month.

(At this point there’s literally been more video footage of other things that stuff going on in this ring).

−Crush (with Clarence Mason) beat (jobber) Freddie Joe Floyd with his “heart punch” finisher.

−Another clip from last week’s “Championship Friday” show, where Mr. Backlund introduced the Iron Sheik to the ring.  The former bitter enemies hug it out and Shekie baby will be training Backlund’s newest mystery acquisition (who later turns out to be the Sultan AKA a masked Rikishi).

−Promo for WWF Superstars, which says it’s been on for more episodes than Seinfeld, more original episodes than Monday Night Football, and when it made its debut “the cast of Friends were still pimple-faced kids”

−The Undertaker defeated a previously undefeated Salvatore Sincere in the main event with a tombstone pile driver.

−Also during the match, Jim Ross (as he’s teased all night) confirms there’s “negotiations” to bring back Razor Ramon and Diesel to the WWF.  He says negotiations have hit a snag with Ramon but they’re progressing well with Diesel.

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MY TAKE:

Episode 175 was near the height of the WWF downslide, which is easy to see in both a review of the ratings and show itself.  After dominating in ratings for many years WWF had already lost some of their aging stars to WCW, most notably Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage. They withstood that but the real blows came just a few months before this Raw aired, when first Scott Hall and soon after Kevin Nash defected.

While WCW ventured towards more reality-based storylines, WWF remained true to full-fledge gimmicks.  The differences were glaring.

At the start of 1996 WWF and WCW did plenty flip flopping in the ratings wars, with each side claiming victory depending what week it was, but WCW begun to dominate by the end of May.  In fact, when this 175^th episode of Raw aired, WCW had either won or tied the ratings war for 17 consecutive weeks.

Watching this show nearly 21 years later, it doesn’t take a genius to know why.

For starters, sans the Undertaker none of the WWF’s top attractions wrestled live.  That’s a big no-go for Shawn Michaels (the champion), Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Psycho Sid, Curt Henning, Mankind or even Goldust.

It was also before Steve Austin, Triple-H or The Rock had become any sort of relevant stars, which meant few people really cared about them—yet.

Instead we got a show that featured The Stalker? Crush? An UNDEFEATED Salvatore Sincere?

Beyond the horrible in-ring product at the time, perhaps the most indignant move by WWF was having Ross constantly (for weeks include this one) tease the WWF return of Razor Ramon and Diesel via “sources”, which as we all know turned out to be imposters.  I mean, what in the hell was the brass at WWF ever thinking that it could possibly get over with the audience? It wasn’t going to lead fans to turn the dial off WCW and even if it did, it would only be temporary.

What a miserable time for the WWF and its fans.

♦♦♦♦♦

A few notes from the show…

♦ Jim Ross was on commentary by this point in place of Vince McMahon along with Kevin Kelly (who?) and Jerry Lawler.  Ugh, even back in ’96 King’s futile attempts at stand-up comedy fell flat in the booth if not downright tasteless.

♦  Ross, as always was great on the mic but took things a bit too far with what he’s described about The Stalker

“A lot of big game hunting. He stalks one animal per year. He hunts that animal, kills that animal, mounts its head and puts it on the stand.”

(Not everyone knows this, but the Stalker was actually Barry Windham, one of the more decorated wrestlers in NWA/WCW history.  This WWF gimmick didn’t last long).

♦  Like I mentioned in our last recap 25 episodes ago, there’s multiple mentions of Mike Tyson early in the broadcast. It’s very obvious Vince wanted him to be a part of WWF, which of course he eventually was.

♦  For what it’s worth, the Intercontinental championship tournament was happening because Ahmad Johnson had to vacate the title after being attacked (by a debuting) Faarooq a few weeks prior. Marc Mero would eventually go onto defeat Faarooq in the finals later this month on an episode of Raw.

♦  1996 was when Sunny was at her best. She looked great and played an important role in WWF both as a manager and segment host. Sunny was the 1996 Pro Wrestling Illustrated Manager of the Year.

♦  Making fun of Jake Robert’s alcohol problem was actually a storyline back in 1996. There’s a clip shown of Lawler pouring a bottle of booze down a beaten Roberts’ throat before Mark Henry came to the rescue. (This was not part of the September 9^th Raw).

♦  During this time, The Undertaker was in a feud with Mankind and his former manager, Paul Bearer, who turned on Taker at Summerslam during the “boiler room brawl” match. It feels like an eternity ago, but Taker was such an athletic big man.

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MoranAlytics Score: 1.5 out of 10.  This is only the fourth Retro Raw I’ve recapped, but it’s far and away the worst.  If fact, I can’t imagine the show being worse than this pile of shit fans were served. There isn’t one redeeming reason to ever watch this episode of Raw unless you’re a fan of seeing The Undertaker when he could actually move and perform well, or if you like looking at Sunny when she was hot.  Otherwise, this was an awful waste of your time now and your Monday back then.