I like podcasting, as evidenced by my future award-winning Moran-Alytics Podcast taking over the world. I’m also quite fond of chicken wings of late, as evidenced by a need for a better fitting wardrobe after this six week trip back to my hometown of Buffalo and subsequent binge that’s led me to 14 wing joints in the past 21 days.
Like a mad scientist, the light bulb finally went off in my head this week that said “hey dipshit, why not enjoy both at the same time?”
So that’s exactly what I did. I arranged a few things, made a couple phone calls and on Thursday night I took the Moran-Alytics Podcast on the road for the first time to Amherst Pizza & Ale House for both wings and to tape a show. I brought along my “Pat with Pucks” podcast segment partner Tone Pucks and together we watched the Buffalo Bills preseason opener and got our eat on.
Who gives a shit about Sean McDermott’s decision to start Nate Peterman over A.J. McCarron and Josh Allen? There’s only one nod that matters here and that’s this —- we chose to go with 10 Crown Royal BBQ and 10 Cajun/Medium wings.
The game was fun because it was the first time seeing the Bills on the field in over eight months. The podcast was fun because let’s be honest here, I’m quite amazing at it. But what about the wings? Were they up to the lofty standards I now own, especially after successive tummy pleasing outings this week at Audubon North in Amherst and Ebenezer Ale House in West Seneca?
Let’s find out….
The Good: Let’s cut through any suspense and get right to the point. These were some really good freegin’ chicken wings. Pucks and I, who rarely see eye to eye on shit when it comes to sports, food or just about anything both agreed the wings were the bomb. I’ll even take it one further — usually during this binge when I go out and order multiple flavors, I distinctly like one more than the other. This may genuinely be the first time I sat stumped for several minutes trying to decide which of the two I enjoyed more before ultimately settling on the Crown Royal BBQ. They were saucy (just as I asked) and while I’d call the size of the wings typical in comparison to most places, the flavor on both sauces really was abnormally savory. Pucks also got a slice (yet I’m the one who’s a fatso?) I have no take on Pizza but for what it’s worth he said his was pretty good. I care not – I’m only here for the wings.
It’s worth noting that this establishment is very easy on the eyes. The outside patio is more than sufficiently sized and there’s a roof hanging over so you can still be out there during the warmer months if it’s raining or freezing while smoking in the winter if addicted to nicotine. As for the inside, I was blown away. I’m not sure how old the Amherst Pizza & Ale House actually is and I’m too lazy to research but it has the ambiance of a brand new place. More importantly, it has the feel of a legitimate sports bar. Lots of places slap up some up big screens and a few pieces of sports memorabilia, but this joint is an authentic feeling sports bar. There’s a lot of cool shit up on the walls.
With apologies to my friends who’ll shame me for this, I didn’t drink here. Had I, there’s 20 different beers on tap and around 100 total. Personally that’s something I just deem unnecessary. Get your ass a Bud Light or Coors Light if you like alcoholic piss water and a Corona or Heineken if your friend wants to be a fancy pants, and call it a day.
Lastly, I can’t speak for all the waitresses on staff, but the one we had was unequivocally fantastic. Very good at her job and very cute as well for all you single or wedding ring hiding reprehensible dudes out there.
The Bad: Spent the duration of the night on the patio eating, watching the Bills game and then taping a podcast. The next morning my legs were eaten alive by mosquitoes. Shame on Amherst Ale House (I’m done adding Pizza in the title) for not providing complimentary bug repellent with food and drink orders. Shame!
Seriously, I got nothing.
QB Comparison: Amherst Ale House is the Joe Namath of chicken wings. Yeah, the dude was known as Broadway Joe and for good reason, but when push came to shove Namath got on that field and grinded like few others of his era. When I walked and saw the layout and the early crowd at Amherst Ale House, I would’ve bet my life this place was all style and no substance. I was wrong. Really wrong.
RECORD IF AMHERST ALE & PIZZA HOUSE PLAYED A FULL NFL SEASON: 11-5. I’m not sure they’re best at any one thing (wings, pizza, bar experience) but man, they are really good at all of them. They won’t win every Sunday but you’re gonna get your money’s worth.
The Verdict: I wrote of the modern look of the place, the valid sports bar feel, comfy patio and so forth but in the end that’s just window dressing to me. I only give a shit about the chicken wings. That’s what I’m here for. I’ll go to a worn out dive with a waitress that tells me to shoot myself when I ask for all flats while using a dirty bathroom with porno pics up from 70’s still donning the walls, and if the wings are good enough I’ll still rave about it.
This place has amazing chicken wings, man. You’re paying a buck or two per order more than a lot of other spots but it’s flat out worth it. Within a few bites of each flavor I knew these were going into my Top 10 and honestly, I’d feel the same even if I only tried one flavor. Either of them on their own are Top 10 worthy. In fact, I’m going to go ahead and slide them in at eight for now.
I’ll say the same thing about here that I did Audubon North earlier this week. If you’re well north or south of Amherst this is a place worth jumping in your car and taking a 30-minute drive to. It’s a destination spot. Go there, get some wings and there’s happening at the bar if you want that vibe or the patio if you’re in chill mode.
Wings and a night out at Amherst Ale House — a solid yes from me.
